


Children's Games

by KissYourSanityGoodbye



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Angsty Sam, Castiel and Jimmy Novak Are Twins, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghost Possession, Ghosts, Haunted Houses, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Socially Awkward Castiel, home school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8250722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissYourSanityGoodbye/pseuds/KissYourSanityGoodbye
Summary: Sam and Dean are once again uprooted by their father's work but this time instead of going to a normal house and a normal school they move into a boarding house and are home schooled with shy socially awkward Castiel. Dean likes him well enough but he keeps mentioning his twin brother Jimmy who Dean he yet to meet. When Cas starts acting stranger than usual Dean realizes things may not be what they seem in the Novak household.





	1. Chapter 1

Dean stares up at the large, dilapidated Victorian house through the window of the Impala as they pull into the driveway. Dean supposes back in the day it must have been something nice to look at. Now it's missing tons of shingles, the porch looks like if somebody so much as breathes on it it will collapse, and the rickety playground set out front looks like it has seen better days. It's looming and foreboding of bad things to come. Dean shivers and he thinks it's not entirely due to the Autumn chill.

And it's also Dean's new home. Awesome.

Except, it's not really his home is it? It's a boarding house, which means they're going to be living with complete strangers. Dean knows he should be grateful that these people who don't even know the Winchesters are opening their home to them and all, but Dean's not a very trusting person and he wonders why the hell these people would turns their home into a boarding house. What is it, the 1940s?.

Dean can only feel ticked right now. Ticked at his dad. Ticked at the world. And now Dean's ticked at himself for acting like such an angsty teen. That's Sammy's gig.

"Now, I know you boys aren't excited about moving into a boarding house, especially you Sam" John Winchester's voice cuts through the thick silence of the car. "But I think this could be a great opportunity for you boys. We get to live in actual house then a crappy apartment. And the Novak's seem very nice. Mrs. Novak has a son around your guys' age, too I think." John sighs, "Just please promise me you'll give it a chance?"

"Sure thing, Dad." Dean replies. He's used to be carted all over the country for John's job. He's a bounty hunter so basically they go to whatever town John has a lead in and stay until the bastard is caught. Not an ideal way to live but it's all Dean's ever known.

They haul their luggage out of the trunk of the Impala and up the creaky steps of the porch. John rings the doorbell and they wait. Dean peers at Sam out of the corner of his eye and hates how sullen his face looks. The younger boy had been upset about leaving their last town. He had made a lot of good friends. Dean hopes this Novak kid is closer to Sam's age.

A middle-aged woman with light-colored brunette hair and a soft face opens the door, "You must be the Winchesters! Come in, come in, and start making yourself at home." She opens the doors and ushers them inside with a kind smile on her face. "I'm Susan Novak."

John smiles and holds out his hand, "Nice to finally meet you in person. These are my boys Dean and Sam."

"Nice to meet you boys." She smiles kindly again, "How was your trip?"

His father proceeds to tell her about the traffic and Dean takes the moment to sweep his eyes around the foyer. It's as large and ostentatious as he would have guesses. Their are a lot of dusty vases and other relics around. There's a grand staircase in the center of the room and Dean looks up to see a boy staring at him owlishly from the railing on the second floor.

Susan follows his gaze, "Oh, Castiel, don't be rude. Come down here and meet the Winchesters."

The boy walks down the stairs and Dean gets a better look at him. The first thing he notices are that his eyes are stark blue. They're unnaturally blue, almost ethereal. He has dark brown hair that sticks up in messy spikes. Dean wonders if he just got out of bed or if it always looks like that. He's so pale that Dean thinks he never got the memo that sun , y'know, _exists._

He's wearing khaki slacks and a button shirt with a sweater vest. And a blue tie which Dean can tell, even though it's tucked into the vest, is backwards. Does he always dress so formal in his own home?

He looks to be about sixteen, Dean's age. Damn, looks like there's no friend here for Sammy.

Dean sticks out his hand politely, "Hey, I'm Dean." The boy, Castiel, looks at Dean's outstretched hand.

"Your supposed to shake it, Castiel," his mother pipes up. _What the hell is wrong with this guy?_ Dean thinks _He's never heard of a handshake?_

"I apologize for, Castiel," Susan says, "He's been home schooled his whole life so he doesn't really know most social cues." Well that explains a whole damn lot.

"Home schooled?" John asks curiously.

"Oh, yes. I find that the public schools around here are seriously lacking and the nearest private school is over an hour and a half away. My job involves buying and selling antiques and I mostly work from home so I have plenty of time to teach him myself. Plus this way there's no unnecessary distractions and Castiel can get much more work done."

"Interesting," is all John says.

"Castiel, why don't you show the boys to their rooms so John and I can finish sorting out the paperwork."

"Okay," Castiel speaks for the first time and Dean is taken aback by how deep his voice is.

Castiel leads them up the stairs and they stop at the first door on the right. "This will be your room, Sam". Sam drags his bags across the threshold into his room. He awkwardly yhanks Castiel and then begins unpacking.

Castiel leads him a little further down the hall. "And this will be your room, Dean."

Dean peers into the moderate-sized bedroom. There's a full-sized bed in the middle of the room and dark colored dressers. No creepy candelabras or some shit, thank god. "Thanks, Cas. I guess I'll uh- get to unpacking now."

Dean hauls his suitcase into his room and puts it on the bed. When he turns he surprised to see Castiel still standing in the doorway with a confused tilt to his head. "Cas?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Your name is kind of a mouthful is all. If you don't like it I can-"

"No, no I like it." Castiel smiles softly and it's the first time Dean saw his stoic face change. "I'll be in my room down the hall so let me know if you need anything."

Cas leaves Dean to unpack. Dean sighs. This is his least favorite part of moving.

.....

Almost half an hour later Dean decides to take a break. He doesn't even have that many things but now since he has proper dressers he thinks he should probably fold his clothes instead of leaving them balled up in heaps around the room like he used to do when he and Sammy lived in tiny apartments where they had to share a room.

He thinks maybe he'll do a little exploring. He goes downstairs and enters the first big room which Dean thinks must be some sort of living room. He thinks in old houses they call those sitting rooms or whatever.

There are lots of photos hanging up on the walls but all of them look so old Dean thinks all those people must be dead. Or are in a nursing home somewhere seriously decaying. He wonders why Susan doesn't have any pictures of Cas anywhere.

He wanders over to the fireplace where there are more photos. He finally sees one from this century and it's of a boy with vibrant blue eyes and a stoic face. _That's definitely Cas,_ Dean thinks. He looks to be about six years old. He has small arms wrapped around him and Dean lets his eyes travel to the other boy in the photo and- wait what? Cas has a twin?

"I see you found our family photo." Castiel's gravelly voice comes out of nowhere.

"Jesus, Cas!" Dean jumps. "We gotta get you a freakin' bell or something. You scared the crap out of me."

"Apologies."

"It's fine," Dean waves him off and then gestures to the picture, "You have a twin?"

"Yes, his name is Jimmy."

"Jimmy, huh? How did he end up with a normal, generic name and you got one so bizarre?"

"That's something Jimmy and I ponder as well."

Dean chuckles. He wonders if Jimmy is as deadpan as Cas is. Dean's about to ask Cas why his mom didn't mention Jimmy when they first arrived when Susan pokes her head into the living room or sitting room or whatever it is. "Dinner is ready boys."

Right on cue Dean's stomach rumbles and whatever questions Dean had are swiftly forgotten.

......

Dean's lying on bed with his stomach pleasantly full. He's about to drift off to sleep when he hears faint music. Dean sits up curiously and follows the source of the music. He follows it all the way down the grand staircase and into the living/sitting room. Cas is sitting at a piano sitting in the corner that Dean didn't notice before.Now that Dean is close to the source of the music he recognizes it as classical.

Cas' back is to Dean and he seems to be unaware of the other boy's presence. Dean just stands and watches enraptured as Castiel plays. His thin fingers glide smoothly and gracefully over the ivory keys and the notes ring out in the large room. Dean knows nothing about classical music but he knows this piece sounds like it's pretty damn difficult to play and Castiel seems to be playing it with ease. He doesn't even have any music sheets.

Dean gets lost in the music and he's not sure how long he's been standing there listening when Castiel turns around and startles. "Dean! How long- um- how long have you been standing there?"

"A few minutes I think? I honestly don't know, I got lost in the music. That sounded really beautiful."

Castiel blushes and it spreads prettily over his cheeks to the tips of his ears. Cas looks really beautiful _._ _Okay.... where the fuck did that just come from?_

"Thank you, Dean. I've been practicing that one for a while."

"How long have you been playing for?"

"Um, I started when I was six so about ten years now."

Dean whistles, "Damn, that's a long time. I don't think I could ever commit to something for that long. Do you wanna play professionally or something? Cause man you totally could."

Castiel blushes again but only slightly this time, "No, it's just a hobby. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life yet."

"Yeah, I'm in the same boat with you on that one."

Castiel tilts his head confusedly and Dean clarifies for him before he can ask, "I don't mean a literal boat, Cas. It's an expression."

"Ah, I see," is all Cas says.

There's a slight awkward pause and then Dean yawns, "Man, I'm beat. I think I'm gonna hit the- go to bed."

Castiel nods, "Okay, then. Goodnight Dean."

"Goodnight Cas," and then Dean leaves to go to bed.

......

Dean leaves the sitting room and Castiel is left standing with his heart thundering in his chest. Castiel feels... he doesn't know how he feels. Confused for one thing at this strange new emotion. He guesses it must be excitement. It seems like he may be making a new friend. His first friend really since he can't really count Jimmy since they're brothers.

Maybe he should ask Jimmy what he thinks this strange new feeling bubbling inside Castiel is.

His brother has been missing all day but Castiel knows he's just moping around somewhere. Whereas Castiel has been over the moon excited, his brother was less than enthused at the prospect of sharing their home with the Winchesters. Doesn't matter if he wants to be found right now are not because Castiel knows his brother well and if he were a betting man he would wager his twin is sulking in the library.

JImmy is sitting in one of the largest, comfiest chair by the extinguished fire place looking sullen just as Castiel expected. Maybe now isn't the best time to ask Jimmy his question.

"I was wondering when you would notice I was missing," Jimmy says petulantly.

"I would hardly define moping out in the open in the library as missing." Castiel fires back.

"Whatever you would define it as, it took you a while to come find me." Jimmy sniffs, "And I bet I know why."

"Why?"

"Because you were too busy eye-banging Dean Winchester to comfort your brother in need."

"I was _not_ eye-banging Dean Winchester," Castiel sputters.

"Oh please," Jimmy rolls his eyes, "You were practically drooling at the mouth the second you laid eyes on him.

"And how would you even know that, Jimmy? You were too rude to even come welcome the Winchesters."

"I was there. I was just hiding around the corner."

"And why would you do that?" Cas asks exasperated.

"Because I had to get a look at the trash that was infesting our house!"

"Jimmy," Castiel growls dangerously, "You will not speak of Dean and his family that way. Like it or not they live here now. And they don't deserve to be berated by you."

"Geez, Castiel, calm down. It hasn't even been a full freaking day and you're already obsessed with the guy."

Now it's Castiel's turns to roll his eyes. He's much too tired right now for Jimmy' childish behavior. "Whatever, Jimmy. I don't know why I bothered trying. I'm tired so I'm going to bed. You can stay down here and be a child if you'd like."

Jimmy just crosses his arms, "Fine by me."

......

 When Dean enters the kitchen the next morning he feels a weird, tense vibe. Everyone is silent. Castiel is pouring himself a bowl of cereal slowly likes he's afraid of making too much noise. Susan is standing by the table wringing a dish towel in her hands and a nervous smile. John is sitting at the table and looks about the same as he always does. Sam looks like someone just pissed in his cornflakes.

"Dean," his dad says, "I was just telling Sam I got a call about a lead. I'm sorry I have to leave so soon but the job is couple days' drive from here and I don't want the trail to go cold so I'm leaving right after breakfast. A bounty hunter buddy of mine is teaming up with me so he's giving me a lift there."

"Oh... okay. How long do you think you'll be gone for?"

"I can't say. This guy seems like a slippery devil. I should hopefully be able to track him down and arrest him in a little less than two weeks."

"Okay. Good luck then, I guess."

John smiles warmly, "I knew you'd be understanding about this. Now come eat some corn flakes with me before I have to go."

They eat breakfast in relative silence except for some mild small talk exchanged between John and Susan. Sam excuses himself after breakfast, but still gives John a quick hug goodbye. Dean walks John out and his dad leaves him the keys to the Impala.

"One more thing, Dean. I talked to Susan and she agreed to home school you and Sam."

"Home school!?"

"Yes, please don't fight me on this, Dean. I was talking it over with Susan and it seems to have lots of benefits."

Dean knows better than to argue with his father so he just tiredly says, "Yeah, okay. I'm sure you're right."

"I knew you wouldn't have a problem with it, son. " A car pulls up and John climbs into the passenger seat. "Can you just do me a favor a relay the news to Sam? I'll see you in a couple weeks, call if you're in trouble." And then the car peels out of the drive-way.

Home school. Sam is _so_ not going to like this.

......

Dean was right. He doesn't seem to be taking it well. He expected some pouting and yelling, sure. He didn't expect him to start hurling books.

"Home school, Dean?! Really?!"

"I'm not all that thrilled about it either, believe me, but Dad thinks it's for the best and I think we should trust him."

Sam snorts, "Oh that's just rich. You know what I'm most angry about this whole situation? That dad didn't have the balls to come up here and tell me he was ruining my life himself."

"Ruining your life? I think that's a bit dramatic even for you."

"He always does this Dean! He uproots us from a town we were just beginning to call home, dumps us somewhere else, to be somebody's else's problem and then takes off!"

Dean sighs, "Yeah, Sammy, I know it sucks but that's just the life of a bounty hunter's kids I guess."

"Quit making excuses for him, Dean," Sam spits angrily, "I'm already enough of a freak as it is! Why not just add home schooled freak to the growing list?"

"Hey! Cas is not a freak!" Dean knows Sam is upset but that doesn't mean he can just insult Cas like that.

Sam sighs frustrated, "I didn't mean Cas was a freak I just- ugh! Can you just leave me alone for a little, please? I need to sulk a bit."

"Yeah, sure." Dean shuts the door behind him. He'll let Sam have his little preteen angst moment. At least to get him to stop lobbing books near his head. For a twelve year old he already has a wicked arm.

 He turns around and starts when he sees Castiel standing right behind him, "Jesus, Cas! What did I say about that bell?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just heard some shouting and a crash. I was checking to see if everything is all right."

"Yeah, everything's fine. Did you hear any of that?" Dean really hopes he didn't hear the freak comment.

"No, I couldn't really make out what was being said. It just sounded very heated"

"Sam just isn't taking the news about home school all that well. He- uh threw a book at my head."

"Oh," Castiel casts his eyes down, "I'm sorry my mother put the notion of home school in your father's head. Sam seems pretty averse to it."

"Hey, Cas don't do that. It's not your fault. Besides, I don't think Sam is that upset about it. He's just mad at our dad for dumping us on someone else and skipping town for a hunt like he always does. Sam'll just blow some steam off and pout a bit  and be back to normal afterwords."

Cas nods understandingly, "I'm familiar with the process. Whenever Jimmy and I fight about some inane thing he goes to his "hiding spot'"- Cas uses actual finger quotes here- "in the library."

"By the way, when do I get to meet this mysterious Jimmy? I haven't seen him around at all."

"He may be avoiding you right now. He wasn't exactly ecstatic when he was told you and your family was moving in with us."

Dean can understand. He was initially less than thrilled when he was told they were going to be living here, too. Now though, he thinks maybe he'll like living here with Cas. He's an odd guy, but Dean kinda likes it. "It's okay, I get it. I'm sure I'll run into him eventually. "

"Yes, I'm hoping you do. I'm sure once Jimmy meets you he'll like you. I already do." Cas says it casually like it's just normal to say shit like that.

Dean feels his face flush and he curses himself for it. He coughs awkwardly in the hopes of covering it up somehow, "Thanks, Cas."

"You're welcome, Dean."

.......

"Well that was sickening." Jimmy's voice cuts through the quiet of Castiel's room.

Castiel doesn't look up from the book he's reading on his bed. He doesn't need to to know Jimmy is leaning haughtily against the door frame. "And what would you be referring to?"

"Your little exchange with Winchester in the hallway." Jimmy shudders, "I think you guys just gave me agita."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jimmy. I know you to have a perfectly healthy digestive system. I highly doubt eavesdropping on one conversation could have jeopardized that."

"You don't have to be a sarcastic little shit about it."

"Who's being sarcastic? I speak with utmost seriousness."  Jimmy just rolls his eyes at the comment and Castiel turns a page, "And what about the conversation which you had no right _eavesdropping_ on gave you agita?"

"Geez, Castiel you don't have to say eavesdropping like it was such a terrible crime. It's not like I robbed a little old lady or anything. I just wanted to see what's the big deal about the Great Dean Winchester you'd been mooning over."

Castiel sighs and puts down his book. He can't pay attention to it right now anyway. "First of all, I was not mooning over Dean Winchester. Second, if you want to see what Dean is like you should stop acting like a child and introduce yourself to him, and third, you didn't answer my question."

"I was practically assaulted by both of your guys' gross flirting," Jimmy says flippantly.

"We were not flirting."

"You said and I quote 'I'm sure once Jimmy meets you he will like you' -which you have no evidence to support by the way- 'I already do.' And cue the vomit." Jimmy mimes gagging on air.

Castiel flushes with embarrassment. He hadn't to just carelessly blurt it out like that. "I meant it in a completely platonic way."

"Yeah, sure you did." Jimmy draws out the word 'sure' in a way that conveys he does not believe Castiel one bit.

"Whatever, Jimmy. I'm tired and I'd like to go to bed," Castiel says tersely.

"Fine then, wallow in your denial for all I care. Just so you know though, brother. Dean Winchester is no good for you."

"Good night, Jimmy." Castiel says curtly effectively ending the conversation.

JImmy sighs a long-suffering sigh, "Goodnight, Castiel." And then he shuts the door.

.......

The following Monday marks the beginning of Dean and Sam's home schooled lives. When the boys enter the library they see that Castiel is already there spread out on the floor surrounded by piles of books.

 "Good morning," Cas says from his spot on the floor.

"Good morning, Cas" Dean sits on empty space of floor beside him, "What are you reading?"

"It's a book about the mating cycles and various habits of honey bees. It's quite fascinating."

"You study bees in home school?"

"Oh no, this is just pleasure reading." The son of a bitch isn't even being sarcastic.

Susan enters the room with a pile of language books, "Oh, great you boys are just on time. Now I know this is an adjustment from traditional school whereas you're regulated by teacher lesson plans and school bells, but I just wanted to let you know the way I teach is a little different. I let you set the pace to go as fast or slow as you want as long as you don't fall too far behind the state mandated curriculum of course. You're free to study whatever you want as long as it has elements of common core courses. I have a rule that we don't study on the weekend and I don't see the point in homework since we're always working from home."

Sam seems to have perked up considerably, "Really? We can study whatever we want and go as fast as we'd like?"

"Yep," Susan smiles excited at Sam's enthusiasm. She sets the books on a nearby table, "I thought we could start with something fun so I brought a bunch of language books. You can choose whatever language you'd like."

"Can I study Latin?" Sam is practically vibrating in his seat now.

"Of course, I have one book on Latin here but I think I might've seen some more in the other room if you'd like to follow me." Susan leads him out of the library and Dean is left alone with Cas.

"Of course the nerd would get that excited about a dead language," Dean chuckles.

"Have you decided what language you're going to study?" Cas asks.

"I'm not really sure. What language are you studying?"

"Enochian. I'm almost fluent now."

"Never heard of it."

"It's the language of angels." Castiel blushes embarrassed, "I know it's dumb. No one really speaks Enochian and it's probably useless, but I don't know I just...liked it I guess."

"I think that's pretty cool, Cas."

Cas perks up, "Really?"

"Yeah, you can speak the language of Divine beings. Not many people can say that, it's pretty awesome."

Castiel blushes again. Dean thinks he looks really nice with some color with in his cheeks. He wonders how else he can get Castiel to blush. _Quit it, Dean. That's weird._

Sam bounds into the room, his arms laden down with ancient looking books, "Dean, look at all these cool old Latin books we found! Mrs. Novak says that by the end of the year I might be able to read them without any trouble if I study really hard."

"That's awesome. Now you can say lame, nerdy shit in two languages," Dean teases.

"Shut up, jerk."

"Make me, bitch."

Castiel just stares at them both awkwardly, "If-uh- you two want to work out your fight privately I can relocate to another room."

"We're not actually fighting, Cas," Dean laughs, "Just some good-hearted bickering is all."

"Oh, I see," Cas nods but still seems perplexed. Dean wonders if any arguments between him and Jimmy are good-hearted.

Susan comes into the room and plops more books on the table. "Okay, so who's ready to start?"

......

"Dean."

"Hm?"

"It's been six hours," Castiel informs him, "We can stop studying for the day now."

"It's been six hours already?" Dean had been completely immersed in the book he was reading for English, _The Catcher in the Rye._ Dean looks around and sees Sam has already vacated. I guess even he got tired of studying.

"You can keep reading if you'd like. It's one of my favorite books so I understand if you'd have trouble putting it down."

Dean rubs his eyes, "Nah, I think I'm done for the day. Besides, I think I'd rather savor the book. It's not often I find books I like."

"Well, what books do you like?"

"Vonnegut mostly."

Castiel nods, "I've read a couple of his works. I think there are some in this library somewhere if you'd like me to show you."

"Thanks, Cas. Maybe later. I gotta unwind a bit first." Dean stretches his arms above his head languidly and sighs when they give a little pop. "So what do you do for fun around here?"

"Read, mostly," he answers immediately.

Dean rolls his eyes,  "I mean after your done studying."

Castiel blinks, "My answer remains the same."

"So you tell me you spend the whole day studying, and then when you're done you pull out large books on honey bees or whatever for pleasure reading? That can't be good for your eyes man."

"Well," Castiel says affronted, "What do you do for fun?"

"Well, normally when I get home from school and I just hang in my room and put on some Zep," Dean shrugs.

Castiel blinks and then blinks again. "Some what?"

"Dude, you don't know who Led Zeppelin is?" Dean asks incredulously.

"Am I supposed to?"

"Only if you want to actually start living, man. Come on, now it's my turn to educate you."

......

 Dean invites Castiel into his bedroom and turns to peruse through his own record collection. Castiel has never been in this situation before so he is unaware of the proper etiquette. He stands in the middle of the room with his hands plastered and awkwardly at his sides.

Dean glances at him over his shoulder, "You can sit down on the bed you know."

Castiel plops himself down on the edge of the bed. Dean glances behind himself again, "You know you can lean yourself up against the headboard and put your feet up. Make yourself comfy. Or as comfy as can get in that get-up."

Castiel stares down at his attire. It's his usual sweater vest and tie combo. This is the way he's dressed for as long as he can remember. "I do not understand. Is there something wrong with the way I dress?"

"That's not what I meant Cas," Dean assures him still flipping through his records, "I was just teasing. I actual like the way you dress. It suits you." Dean coughs and Castiel has come to understand it's Dean's method of covering up when he's embarrassed. He's proven correct when he notices that the tips of Dean's ears are red.

Castiel situates himself with his back propped against the headboard and his feet up as Dean suggested. He was right, he does feel marginally more relaxed. Only slightly however. He's nervous. It's the first time he's been in anyone else's bedroom. He may be home schooled and ridiculously virginal but he understands the implications of being invited into somebody else's room.

Dean finds the record he was looking for and puts it on the record player. "This should be something good to start you off with," Dean plops himself down on the bed and shuffles a bit closer to Castiel.

The song begins with a few gentle guitar chords. A man's voice begins singing " _There's a lady who's sure,_ _All that glitters is gold ,_ _And she's buying a stairway to heaven."_

They listen in silence for a few more minutes while Castiel absorbs the song. He feels himself break out into a smile, "I like this song very much, Dean."

Castiel turns his head and sees Dean is staring at him. Castiel waits for a response and Dean says nothing. He's still just staring. "Sorry what?"

"I said," Castiel laughs,  "I like this song very much, Dean."

"Oh," Dean clears his throat and turns his head back towards the ceiling, "Glad you like it, Cas."

"I would like to hear more of this...Led Zeppelin I think you called it."

Now Dean smiles, "Sure thing, Cas. I would be a bad teacher if I didn't make you listen to more."

......

They listen to both sides of the record before Dean starts to yawn and Castiel suggests they retire for the night. They listen to another record the next night. The night after that Dean decides to introduce Castiel to Metallica. And then to ACDC the night after that. Soon it just becomes their nightly tradition.

One night a few weeks after the first one Cas is laying beside Dean on the bed while "Ramble On" plays on the record player. Cas has already heard this one but they've already listened to the entirety of Dean's record collection so now they're just listening to their favorites. Dean knows by now he has fulfilled his civic duty to educate Cas on the world's greatest rock bands, but he's come to look forward to their nightly tradition. He's not ready to give it up, and Cas doesn't seem to mind re-listening old songs.

"What's regular school like?" Castiel asks abruptly out of nowhere.

It takes Dean a moment for his mind to catch up because he had been so deep in thought, "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Sam had been so averse to home school at first," Cas fiddles with his own hands which are splayed across his stomach, "And even though you tried to hide I could tell you weren't exhilarated at the prospect of home schooling either."

"Well, yeah, maybe I wasn't too happy about it initially but I've come really to like it," Dean assures. He doesn't want Cas to think he resents spending all day with him studying because that couldn't be further from the truth.  "And Sammy really likes it I can tell. He's surrounded by books all day and has pretty much free reign to teach himself whatever he wants."

"That's not what I meant," Castiel shakes his head, "I've never been to regular school before, and you both seemed to have liked it a lot if you weren't willing to give it up, so I just wanted to know, is there something I'm missing?"

Dean thinks about the question for a moment. He doesn't feel like there's any particular holes in life since he made the switch to home school but there are obvious differences. "Well for one thing there is no social hierarchy."

Castiel tilts his head confused, a gesture that Dean is already very familiar with. "I don't understand what you mean."

"How many movies have you seen about high school?"

"Zero."

Dean shrugs, "Eh, it's just as well, anyway. Most of the grossly exaggerate what high school life is like. They get a couple things right though, like jocks and cheerleaders are usually at the top of the social pyramid and are revered by everyone else because they have a lame jacket or pom poms or whatever. More often than not if you're above average intelligent or stray for the norm in any other way you're labelled as outcast or a freak and ostracized by your peers." Dean rolls his eyes, "Or some dumb shit like that."

Cas wrinkles his nose, "That sounds like an awful way to live. Why does anyone even go to high school?"

Dean laughs, "Because if we don't its called truancy and we don't get that stupid piece of paper which deems us fit for the work force or whatever." Dean pauses and thinks about his past high school experiences. They weren't all shitty. "But you know, there are some fun things about high school."

Cas raises an eyebrow, "I think you need to elaborate because what you've described to me thus far sounds terrible."

"Well you get to meet new people and make friends. And there' s a lot of extracurriculars like sports-"

Cas wrinkles his nose again, "I despise physical activity." He could've fooled Dean. One day Dean barged into Cas' room to show him something funny he saw on the internet and he had been treated to the sight of a shirtless Castiel. Underneath all the button up shirts and sweater vests, Castiel was all lithe muscle.

 "There's also theatre," Dean continues, "Or marching band. I know some schools have choirs and orchestras."

"That part does sound nice." Castiel admits, "Sometimes I think about what it would be like to play the piano outside of the confines of this house."

"Then why don't you? I'm sure they have community orchestras or theatre houses looking for piano players."

"I've never played for a crowd before, Dean. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. Besides, I just wonder what it would be like is all. I enjoy it merely has a hobby," Castiel says it like he believes it but Dean can tell the other boy wants something more than playing in his practice room by himself. Dean vows that one day he'll get Castiel to play in front of a crowd. Even if a secret part of Dean revels in the fact that he's the only person Cas plays in front of now.

"Anyway," Dean continues, "Besides sitting with your friends at lunch and maybe some extracurricular activities, regular school isn't that great. I'd rather pick home school with you any day."

Cas smiles one of his soft smiles, "I'm glad to hear that, Dean."

They silently listen to music for a few more minutes, enjoying each other's  presence when Dean remembers something he had almost forgetten about. "Hey, Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"How come I haven't met Jimmy yet? I mean it's been a few weeks already; I should've at least run into him once by accident. This house is big but it isn't _that_ big."

 Cas furrows his brow angrily, "It appears Jimmy is more immature than I originally gave him credit for. He refuses to have any contact with you and when Jimmy refuses to do something he'll go to great lengths to insure that he has his way." Castiel grumbles the next part, "Now matter how rude he has to be to get it."

"Woah, Cas, chill" Dean attempts to diffuse him, "It's okay, no need to get angry on my behalf. I told you I understand why Jimmy has problems with us living here." Not really, though. Sure, Dean gets being a little annoyed at first but this does seem like a bit of an over the top reaction. He's not about to tell Cas that, though.

Cas sighs and all the righteous indignation drains from his body, "It just annoys me to no end when he acts like this. We used to be so close and lately we're fighting almost every day."

A rush of guilt floods Dean at those words. He of all people knows how important sibling relationships are. "I'm sorry, Cas. I know I can't really help it but I didn't mean to be the cause of strife between you and Jimmy."

"It's not your fault," Cas assures him, "We've been fighting with each other over inane matters a few months before you even arrived." 

"I'm sorry, man. I know fighting with your brother sucks."

"Yeah," Castiel sighs, "It does."

They listen to music and talk about meaningless things until Dean starts yawning. Despite Dean's protests, Cas says they should be getting their rest.

"Oh, all right" Dean finally acquiesces, "Goodnight, Buzzkill."

"Goodnight, Dean."

........

 Castiel shuts the door behinds me when he exits Dean's room. He turns and starts when he's Jimmy with his arms crossed leaning against the opposite wall looking just as petulant as always.

"So how was he?" Jimmy asks in the peevish tone which aggravates Castiel to no end. He just brushes past Jimmy and continues walking down the hallway. He's found that the best way to deal with Jimmy when he's in one of these moods is to ignore him.

Jimmy takes long strides to catch up to him, "I mean he must've been pretty good if you keep holing yourself up in that room with him every night. I gotta say though, Castiel, I never pegged you for the type."

Castiel sighs and pinches his brow. He knows he'll have wrinkles by the time he's 25 and the blame will fall entirely on Jimmy. He bites the bullet, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm referring to your nightly routine of passionately hooking-up with Dean Winchester of course" Jimmy replies offhandedly.

Castiel's face flushes furiously as he whispers in a lowered tone, "I already told you,  I am _not_ engaging in explicit activities with Dean. We're just friends." Castiel picks up the pace. He curses that his bedroom is so far down the hall.

Jimmy passes him then turns around to face him and starts walking backwards. "I bet you want to though," Jimmy insists cheekily, "Do it with Winchester, I mean."

"Will you please keep your voice down!" Castiel whispers urgently.

"A-ha! I knew it! You totally want to sleep with him!"

Castiel stops in his tracks and so does Jimmy. "I already told you," Castiel reiterates for what feels like the thousandth time, "I do _not_ want to sleep with Dean. What I do want is for you to quit your childish act and introduce yourself to Dean and Sam. You're being very rude to them."

"I don't see why I should," Jimmy sniffs, "They didn't give me the common courtesy of not showing up and destroying my perfectly content existence."

"Grow up, Jimmy."

"What is so special about Dean Winchester anyway? Suddenly it seems you only have eyes for him."

"Introduce yourself and you can find out." Castiel says dismissively. He is so done with this tired old argument.

"I don't need to. I have eyes, too, Castiel. And from what I've observed he is an obnoxious, crass neanderthal."

"JImmy," Castiel growls dangerously, "Do not speak of Dean that way. He may be one of the most amazing, kind-hearted people I know. The only one here who is being crass and obnoxious is you."

Jimmy has the audacity to look taken aback by the comment. His face hardens "He must be able walk on water and raise the dead if he got you to choose him over your own brother."

Castiel heaves a sigh, "Don't be dramatic, I'm not choosing anyone over-"

Jimmy cuts him off "Well sorry if I don't take your word about how amazing Dean Winchester. I guess I'll just have to investigate this myself. I'm going to need to borrow something from you first." Jimmy rushes at Castiel.

"What on earth are you-" Castiel finds himself unable to finish the sentence because he is no longer in control of his own mouth. Or his body.

.......

Dean wakes up late the next day. It's almost noon when he finally forces himself out of bed. But he figures it's okay because it's Saturday which means no schoolwork. He pads down to the kitchen barefoot. He briefly wonders what Cas had been up to since he seems to be an early riser but his question is answered when he sees the other boy standing in the kitchen making himself a sandwich.

"Good morning, Cas. Whatcha making?"

The other boy briefly flicks his eyes up to Dean before looking back down to the task at hand, "PBJ" he says a bit dismissively.

"Oh, okay" Dean tries not to feel snubbed because that would be stupid. Castiel shifts and seems to remember his manners, "Would you like one?"

"Yeah, sure" Dean smiles, "But I can make it myself. I don't like when people put on too much jelly and the edges get all goopy."

He moves down a little bit so Dean can reach the sandwich fixings, and they both assemble their lunches (or technically Dean's breakfast) in silence.

Dean can't help but notice there's something a little off about Cas today. Is it the way he did his hair? No, it looks just as messy as it always does. He's dressed the way he usually is, too, if maybe just a little bit more casual.

It must be he way he's acting. He's acting all stiff and rigid like back when they first met a little over two weeks ago, but he had seemed to grow more comfortable with Dean as time went on. Did he do something to make Cas uncomfortable. Last night Cas seemed fine when they said goodnight. What could he have possibly have done?

Dean decides to bite the bullet, "Hey Cas? Are you all right, man?"

Castiel stills and puts down the knife he was using to slather his bread in peanut butter, "What do you mean?"

Dean shrugs,"I don't know. You just seem a little...off today. I was wondering if I did something wrong"

Cas turns and gives him a reassuring smile, "I'm fine, Dean. Really, I'm just a little tired. I had trouble sleeping last night."

Dean tries to believe it. "Did you fight with Jimmy again?"

"No, Jimmy and I are actually on relatively good terms right now."

"Oh yeah? Does that mean I'll finally get to meet your elusive twin brother sometime soon? I'm starting to wonder if he even exists."

Castiel blinks, "What motive could I possibly have for fabricating a twin brother?"

"Sex appeal?"

"Excuse me?" Castiel sputters.

"Come on, Cas it's a known fact that twins are hotter than non-twins." Castiel just narrows his eyes at him suspiciously and Dean laughs nervously "It's just a joke, Cas. I'm not planning on jumping your bones or anything. Geez, you used to be able to take a joke." It was mostly a joke. A joke that may have been based on some truth but Dean wasn't about to admit that to himself.

"Oh...right," is all Castiel says before he goes back to making his sandwich.

"So, have you seen Sammy around? Has he gotten up yet?"

Castiel finishes making his PBJ and takes a pitcher of lemonade out of the fridge "Yes, my mother sensed he was getting stir crazy in the house so she took him to a home school social gathering for kids his age at the community center."

"Home school social gathering?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like. Every once in a while they hold these social meet ups for home school kids so they can make friends since they can't make any in school."

It makes sense to Dean. He just never thought before about how home schooled kids made friends. "Did you ever go to any of those?"

"My mother took me to a couple when I was younger, but I asked to stop going because I didn't like it." Castiel takes a bite of his sandwich.

"What was wrong with it?"

"Nothing was wrong with it, I was just a little shy. And besides, the only friend I ever needed was my brother."

Something seemed to pass over Cas' face and Dean can't stop himself from asking, "And that's still true?"

Castiel glowers, "It was." There's so much hostility in those two words that Dean feels like he's physically needs to back up. The animosity in Cas' face vanishes as fast as it appeared and he goes back to eating his sandwich. Dean wonders if he imagined it was there in the first place.

Dean clears his throat awkwardly, "So uh...Have you got any plans for the day?"

"No." Castiel says through a mouthful of PBJ. He swallows and then asks, "Why? Did you have something you wanted to do today?"

"Nothing in particular. Just thought you might want to hang since everyone else is gone."

"Okay," Castiel shrugs. "I don't see why not."

Dean smiles. For a second he was worried Cas might say no because he made him angry. "Cool. Do you want to drive into town? My dad left me the Impala, and I'm allowed to use it as long as I don't get in an accident since I technically don't have my full license yet."

Castiel nods, "Okay. When do you want to leave?"

"I can be ready in about twenty minutes."

Castiel finishes up his sandwich and brushes his hands together to wipe away the crumbs, "Okay, I'll start getting ready too then"

He turns away from Dean to exit the kitchen, and Dean notices some black goop seeming to trail out his ear. "Woah, Cas, what the hell is that coming out of your ear?" For a horrible moment Dean's worried that Cas might be really sick and that's why he doesn't go to regular school. I mean, you must be pretty sick to have black gunk dripping out of your orifices.

Cas swipes at his ear and looks down, startled, "Oh, it's some black paint. I was painting earlier. I thought I had cleaned all of it off."

"You paint?" Dean wonders why he hadn't mentioned this before.

"Uh huh. I'm painting a picture of some wild stallions" And then Castiel practically darts out of the kitchen like a startled cat before he could asks anymore questions.

.....

He leaves the kitchen immediately before Dean could ask any more questions. He closed himself in Castiel's room and examines the black goo coming out of his ear in the mirror. "Well that's an interesting side effect of ghost possession."

Suddenly Jimmy doubles over in pain as an earsplitting headache pounds through his skull. "Why are you throwing a fit up there, Castiel? You want your body back already?"

He gets his answer by way of increasing pressure behind his eyes. Little spots start to litter his vision. It feels like someone is took a baseball bat and is going to town on his brain. "Fine, brother. I'll let you take the reigns back for a little while."

And then Jimmy expels himself from his brother's body and Castiel crumples to the floor.

.....

Castiel wakes up on the floor. He feels groggy and his head feel fuzzy, like someone stuff it full of cotton balls. It also kind of hurts too, but he figures that's a contingent on the fact that he was passed out on the floor.

' _Why was I sleeping on the floor? Was I really that tired? I left Dean's room at only 10:30'_

Castiel racks his brain trying to remember what happened after he said goodnight to Dean but keeps coming out blank. Did he get in another argument with Jimmy? _'That's right, we did. We fighting about Dean again and then he did something. What was it? Maybe...'_

His train of thought is interrupted when someone knocks on the door. Dean opens it and asks "Hey, Cas? Ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"Uh..into town? You know, like we talked about less than twenty minutes ago?"

Now Castiel is extremely confused, and it must show on his face because Dean looks a little worried. He decides to go along with it, "Oh yeah, right. I got distracted for a second there and forgot, sorry."

"Are you feeling alright?" Dean asks concerned.

"I'm really fine," Cas insists, "I just had a weird forgetful moment is all."

Dean doesn't look convinced but he lets it go "It's all good. Do you still wanna go?"

"Of course. I'm ready now."

They head down the grand staircase and exit the house. Castiel makes sure to leave a note for his mother in case she gets back before they do.

Dean slides into the impala and Cas takes shotgun. He starts the engine and it roars to life before it quiets to a gentle purr. Castiel feels a gust of unnaturally cold wind, which is weird since it's only fall. Dean cranks up the heat anyway.

"You're going to have to be my navigator," Dean looks at Cas, "I don't really know my way around town, yet."

Castiel acquiesces to his request, "You drive straight for about a mile and then you take a left at Sycamore."

They drive into town in mostly comfortable silence save for when Castiel lowly mumbles to directions.

When they get to the heart of town Dean asks, "So what d'you like to do for fun around here?"

Castiel ponders the question for a moment. What does he like to do for fun? He doesn't normally go on outings. In fact, this is his first time out of the house in over a month.

"I don't really know."

"You don't know?" Dean sounds incredulous.

" 'Fun' has never been a priority for me before, Dean" he says exasperatedly.

Dean sets his mouth in a determined line, "Well we're going to have to change that."

They drive aimlessly for a few more minutes, Dean randomly suggesting things they could do now and again. Castiel would agree with whatever Dean wanted to do, but he seemed adamant that Castiel was over the top enthusiastic about it. He wants him to discover his idea of "fun". He didn't know how to say they could do literally anything as mundane as watching paint dry for 4 hours and he'd still have fun because he was with Dean.

Deans sees a sign for Lake Alberta and says "Hey, how about we go to the lake and go swimming?"

Castiel suddenly feels very sick. He can practically feel all the blood rapidly draining from his face, and his hands start to tremble. He clutches his knees and bunches his hands in the fabric of his pants to try and still them. His breath comes out in short, sporadic puffs of air.

"Cas?"

Going to the lake sounds like a great idea, so why does the thought of going make it feels like his insides are being strangled to death by a boa constrictor? He remembers going to the lake when he was very young with his mother and Jimmy. The sun had been glaring down relentlessly, and both his and his twin brother's fair skin had begun turn a bright shade of tomato red.

"Cas?!"

The wet sand had felt cold and gritty between his toes. Jimmy had cajoled him into helping him capture tad pools in the shallow waters. He hadn't wanted to at first, but Jimmy promised he would let them go later so he acquiesced. The dark, black water had been so cold that day.

Their mother told them not to go so far out that there feet couldn't touch the floor, but Jimmy spotted a huge tadpole that was just a bit further in towards the depths of the water. He told Castiel to watch for their mother so she wouldn't come and scream at them.

Castiel had turned around while Jimmy swam in further to catch the tadpole. He heard splashing and thought that maybe Jimmy was getting close to catching it, but he didn't turn around because Jimmy told him to be a lookout. And what happened next Castiel can't quite remember. He thinks it got really quiet and then...

"CAS!"

"What!? Huh? What's going on?" Castiel is startled out of his trance and the memory slips back into the murky recesses of his mind. "Why were you yelling?"

"Cas I've called you're name about ten times now. You started shaking and went into this freaky trance thing. You were scaring the crap out of me." Dean looks him over with wide eyes and a concerned expression as long as he's able before he has to turn his attention back to the road.

"Oh. Sorry." Castiel mumbles embarrassed by his little episode.

"No. Don't-" Dean sighs, "Don't apologize. I'm just worried. Are you okay?'

"Yes, I'm fine."

"What was that, man?"

"It was nothing really. I was just remembering something from when Jimmy and I were kids and I must of just zoned out really hard."

"Uh huh." Dean says sounding not at all convinced even though it's not a lie. "Why were you shaking?"

"It's cold in here." Also, not a lie. It's still chilly in the Impala despite the fact they been driving with the heat cranked up for twenty minutes.

Dean sets his mouth in a thin line before he reaches into the backseat with one hand on the wheel. He produces a leather jacket and tosses it to Castiel. "Here, put that on. Should keep you warm."

Castiel glances down startled at the jacket. It's brown and worn to the point where the leather feels buttery. He slips on the jacket, and knows instantly it must belong to Dean because it smells just like the other boy. "Thank you, Dean"

The tips of the other boy's ear turns red and clears his throat , "No problem."

.....,

They idly drive through town for a little while longer looking for something to do. Dean was careful not to bring up the lake again. He didn't know what about the lake idea set Cas off but he's rather not watch his friend turn into a shaking, pale mess in the passenger seat again. The first time scared the crap out of him enough.

They pass an art museum, and Dean gets an idea. Cas just said he likes to paint, so maybe this is something he'd find fun. Art isn't really Dean's scene, but this isn't about him.

"What about the art museum?"

Castiel turns around with an amused and maybe somewhat impressed glint in his eye, "I didn't know you enjoyed art, Dean."

"Well, it's not really my most favorite thing," Dean admits. He could pretend to be super into art, but he doesn't want Cas to ask him something like what his favorite artist is or medium is and be embarrassed by his lack of knowledge on the subject "but I can appreciate a well done painting from time to time. I mostly suggested it for you, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you said you like to paint right?"

"I did?"

"Yeah. This morning in the kitchen you had black paint on your ear and you said you were painting something."

Cas is looking increasingly more confused with every word out of his mouth and he even looks a little scared but he says anyway, "Oh yes, I remember now. It must of slipped my mind there for a second."

Very weird. Dean could let it go, but he decides to ask one more question. "What are you even painting? I didn't get to ask you earlier."

"Oh, um," Castiel hesitates for a moment, "I'm painting angels. Nothing too elaborate."

"Cool. So do you wanna go to the museum?"

"Yes," Castiel sounds absolutely relieved he's no longer getting the third degree, "that sounds great."

Dean makes the turn back towards the museum and tries not to think too hard about why Castiel just lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. This really turned into a mess. The first chapter was deleted so I had to rewrite the whole thing. Hopefully it's a little better the second time around. Sorry for the inconvenience.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel has never been to this art museum before. He remembers when it first opened several years ago when he was about seven. His mother had been excited about it because she was a bit of an art geek. She asked if Castiel would like to go to the grand opening and Castiel had said "Yes, can Jimmy come, too?" And then after that, his mother looked extremely grief-stricken and she locked herself in her room for a few hours. Castiel didn't understand why she got so upset.

He noticed that the same thing would happen every time he mentioned bringing Jimmy somewhere and he hated seeing his mom so depressed so eventually he stopped. It's been that way for almost ten years now and it's only now that Castiel has thought to truly question why.

It became a habit to just leave Jimmy's name out of conversation, but now he's starting to wonder why that's even necessary in the first place. Does she just prefer Castiel? Does she hate Jimmy? No, that doesn't make any sense. How could a mother hate her own child?

Castiel wonders when Jimmy and his mother's relationshp became so strained. The first time she locked herself in her room after hearing Jimmy's name was after that day at the lake Castiel distantly recalls. Jimmy had gone away for awhile he remembers. He had asked mother if he was at a summer camp. But that doesn't make any sense, either. Why would she only send Jimmy to...

"You must really like that painting." Dean's voice interrupts his train of thought, and whatever he had been thinking vanishes into thin air because Dean's sudden presence next to him makes it hard to think.

"What?" All he can concentrate on now is that resounding beat of his heart which just jacks up even faster when Dean turns his greens eyes towards him.

"You've been staring at this painting for a good five minutes now. I guess I like it. Whatever it is. If you squint a little I think it could be a giraffe."

"I think you're insulting the artist, Dean"

"Hey, everyone is free to have their own artistic interpretation right? Besides that was just the PG interpretation. If you squint and turn your head to the other side its resemblance to a penis is uncanny."

Castiel chokes out a surprised laughed and then clamps his hands over his mouth when he snorts a little. He feels his cheeks heating up, and then Dean starts laughing, loudly enough that the other museum-goers glare at them in an entirely non-surreptitious manner. "Aww, man you snort when you laugh?"

"Shut up," Castiel glares, "It only happens sometimes when I'm caught off guard." Castiel tries to will away the proof of his embarrassment from his face.

"No, no" Dean chuckles a little as his laughs die down, "I think it's real cute, Cas." He wipes a tear away from the corner of his eye and Castiel takes the chance to walk away and pretend to inspect another painting in attempt to hide his rapidly re-heating face.

Something catches his eye around the corner and he lets Dean know he's going to go into the other room. Dean only nods, his face still a bit red. 'Geez, it wasn't that funny,' Castiel thinks.

Castiel rounds the corner into the next empty gallery and immediately spots what captured his attention: the mop of dark hair attached to his twin's brother head and his smug looking face.

"Enjoying your date, Cas?" Jimmy asks mockingly

"This isn't a date. And how did you get here?"

"Like hell it isn't. Winchester has been eyeing you up the entire time you've been here. And I just overheard your entire conversation. He thinks the way you snort is cute. " JImmy says derisively.

"We're just friends," Castiel repeats for what feels like the twentieth time.

"And you sound no less bitter about it then the last time you insisted upon that."

"You still haven't answered the question, Jimmy. How did you get here? And why are you even here?"

"What? I can't enjoy art in my own free time of my own volition? For all you know I like to avidly immerse myself in fine culture. You may even call me an art connoisseur, if you will."

"Bullcrap. You couldn't tell a Picasso from a piccolo. You came here to spy on Dean and I."

"On your date."

"No," Castile growls frustrated, "On our outing as friends."

"Your distrust wounds me, brother. You really consider me vile enough to engage in such a reprehensible action?" Jimmy grabs his own heart and makes believe he is in agonizing pain. Jimmy laughs at his own display of theatrics.

Castiel only fixes him with an unimpressed look.

"Oh come on, Castiel. I didn't mean to spoil your little 'friend outing' with Winchester."

"You haven't yet. Just please leave."

JImmy pouts. "But Castiel, I haven't gotten to have any fun with him yet. Let me have a turn."

"I have no idea what-" Castiel cuts off mid sentence when he feels a chill run through him and he no longer is in control of his own mouth......

.......

Cute? Did he just call Cas cute? Puppy dogs are cute. When Sam was a baby he was cute. Girls in cheerleading uniforms are cute. He should not be thinking Castiel is cute. And he most definitely should not be blurting it out loud like that. Dean thanks the god he doesn't believe him that Castiel turned around to see another painting in a different room before Dean realized what he said and began blushing up a storm.

Dean takes a second to compose himself before he rejoins Castiel at the next painting, this one a little less abstract. Different shades of cool blue swirl to form a placid lake scene. After staring at for a only a moment Dean already begins to feel his mild inner turmoil subside.

"I actually kinda like this one, Cas."

"mmhmm. Really?" Castiel asks in a bored voice that sounds entirely not like Castiel. The guy gets excited over bee mating cycles.

Dean glances at him and he notices his entire composure is different. He's all weird and stiff again, like he's uncomfortable in his own skin. His face is completely closed off and blank. Not Cas-blank where if you pay attention you notice the corners of his mouth are lifted into a small smile or his eyes are conveying tons of emotions. This is blank blank.

And he's giving off this weird energy. Not that Dean believes in all that aura and mind chakra crap, but he can't help but feel the intense rage radiating off of Castiel right now. Shit. Dean thinks, Did I offend him when I called him cute?

"Cas?" Dean asks cautiously, "Are you all right, man?"

"What do you mean?" Castiel hasn't moved his eyes from the painting and Dean takes back what he said before about his face being blank. It's subtle but Dean can tell that he's definitely outright glaring at the painting.

"Do you got a problem with lakes or something? If looks could kill man the state would have you on death row for painting homicide or something." Dean feels a nervous laugh bubble out of him to cover how unsettled he's feeling right now.

"It's nothing. I just think this one's a little contrived is all." Castiel shrugs, "Come this way, I think I saw some interesting sculptures."

Castiel turns towards the sculptures and Dean just stands there in a dazed state of "what the fuck was that". That was a lot of rage over thinking a lake scene is a bit contrived.Dean chalks it up to an artist thing and tries to forget about it.

The tense air around Cas doesn't seem to cease for the rest of the time they're in the museum. Every time he tries to make a joke or start a conversation Cas doesn't find it funny or dismissed him with curt answers. Dean wonders what happened; Cas had been relaxed and was laughing before he got all weird again. Dean seriously doubts it was because of his minor cute comment.

But what if it was? Castiel kind of had a sheltered upbringing. Maybe he's homophobic. Dean tells his brain to shut up because it doesn't matter if Cas is or isn't homophobic because he didn't mean it like that anyway. He did not.

They're walking down a corridor when Castiel groans in pain and presses the heel of his palm to his forehead. He braces himself on the nearest wall and begins to crumble before Dean catches him.

"Woah, Cas. Take it easy, there. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," Castiel assures, "I just got a little dizzy for a second. I'm okay now." Castiel attempts a weak smile and it does nothing to convince Dean but it does make him feel a little better because he seems like normal Cas now and the tense, awkward air seems to have vanished.

"You're probably hungry. It's been a few hours since you've eaten."

"That's not possible," Cas straightens up to stand on his own, "We've only been here for 45 minutes."

"Uh, no Cas, we've been here for almost 2 hours."

Castiel checks his watch and his eyes widen, and Dean would almost think it was funny if Cas didn't look so scared. What's with that?

"I guess time flies when you're having fun," Dean attempts to joke. "Come on let's go get burgers or something."

Cas glances down the corridor and points to a curtain-covered room, "Can we go see that photography exhibit first?"

"Sure, Cas. As long as you promise not to faint on me on the way over there." Cas punches him in the arm but completely fails at hiding his small smile.

......

They enter the small, dark room where the sign said the photography exhibit would be and Castiel tries to not freak out. He tries not to panic over the fact that he has no memory of anything that happened for the last hour and fifteen minutes. He knows if dwells too long over it, he may have a panic attack so instead he puts it out of his mind.

The room they entered is smaller than Castiel was expecting and once the curtain swings closed behind them, it's pitch black. He's about to call out to Dean but before he can he hears a projector whirr to life and images are projected on every wall in the enclosed space. In the little light they provide Castiel can see that he and Dean are the only ones in there.

The pictures start out innocent enough. Castiel can tell they're of the more urban variety, nearly every one of them seemingly focused on city life, something Castiel is not familiar with so he finds it interesting.

Every few seconds a new image flashes by, but one flashes for only a split second and Castiel is completely caught off guard. That couldn't have been... could it? He glances to Dean and in the low light he can tell Dean is just as confused as he feels

The normal images keep going but every dozen are so another one of those strange ones flicker onto the screen lasting a little longer than the previous, and by the third one there's no denying it. The strange images that keep popping up are lewd images of people, specifically men, engaged in the activity of sexual intercourse.

He knows the moment Dean comes to the same realization because he emits a short, breathy laugh.

......

Dean just can't. This is too freakin' hilarious. Here he thought it was gonna be another boring photo exhibit and then they project literal gay porn onto the screen. And some of this stuff is not even that vanilla for gay porn either. Okay, Dean can admit he has watched some here and there for curiosity's sake.

The look on Cas' face is priceless. It's practically pitch black in the room and Dean can still that Cas' face is burning dark red.

A couple more of the innocent pictures continue on and then it flashes to a picture of a guy bent over a car while another guy goes to town on him. This picture lasts for a handful of seconds and Dean watches as Castiel actually averts his eyes, still blushing like a virgin bride.

It's too funny, and yes, he''ll even admit it is more than a little cute. You know what? Dean thinks, Screw it.

He grabs Cas by the side of his face softly a kisses him gently. Cas lets out a muffles 'mmff' of surprise and goes still. Oh crap, I've done it now, Dean thinks. He's about to pull away when Cas kisses him back softly, cautiously like he doesn't really know what he's doing. Pleasure curls through Dean when he realizes that he probably doesn't and this is probably Cas' first kiss considering his upbringing.

Well if this is Cas' first kiss then I'm going to make it a good one. Dean puts his hands on both sides of Cas's face and deepens the kiss. He feels out Cas' mouth and then lets him feel out his own. He lets it continue for a little while longer before he breaks off and lets it linger.

"Sorry, Cas"

"Sorry for what?" he looks more than a little bewildered and out of breath.

"I should've asked if you were cool with that first."

"I'm cool with it." And then he kisses Dean again.

......

Eventually a security guard at the museum breaks Dean and Castiel up and they are asked to leave the premises if they don't cease their activities in the exhibit room. Castiel was forced to drag Dean out by his elbow with his own cheeks flaming when Dean had said, "Lady, we are the exhibit."

They are currently walking back to the Impala and Dean is laughing his ass off. Castiel tries his best to look annoyed and not let his own face betray his amusement. It must work because Dean eventually manages to sober up a little, "Okay, okay sorry, Cas I just haven't laughed that hard in ages. Years, probably."

Castiel can't keep up the facade any longer and he cracks a smile. How can he not when he feels this elated, like he's filled to the brim with giddy energy. Dean Winchester just kissed him. Multiple times. "It's okay, Dean. That was actually really fun."

"That's the spirit, Cas. Come on, let's go get some burgers cause I'm friggin' starving."

Dean takes them to the closest diner which has a neon sign boasting the accolades of the establishment. "Dean, look at that, it looks like we lucked out. The sign says they have the best burgers in the state. What are the odds?"

Dean gives him a funny look. "Are you being sarcastic right now?"

That was not the answering he was expecting and he can feel his head tilting in confusion, "Why would I be anything but serious about this, Dean?'

Dean laughs shortly and then gives Cas a fond smile, "Don't ever change."

They sit in a booth and a teenaged waitress comes to take their orders. He notices her eyeing Dean in interest and he feels a pang of what he assumes is jealousy. That's interesting.

"Hi there, I'm Gina, I'll be your server for today."

Dean gives Gina a flirty smile, "Hey there, Gina. How ya doing today, darlin'?"

"I'm doing fine, " Gina blushes and Castiel clenches his hands into fists under the table. "What can I get for you guys?" she asks.

"We'll both have a cheeseburger with fries and a Coke. That okay with you, Cas?"

"That's fine."

"All right, I'll have that out in a jiffy," she smiles prettily and saunters off to give their order to the cook.

"Sorry if it annoyed you that I ordered for you." Dean says in a tone that sounds somewhat anxious, which is odd because Dean always seems entirely confident in his words and actions. "I'm just always used to ordering for my dates." Dean eyes widen at the implications of what he just said.

Castiel becomes very aware of himself and his now pounding heart which he worries about for a split second since Dean has been making it do that all day and he wonders if it could be detrimental to his health. "This is a date?"

"What? Uh- I mean" Dean sputters and coughs to hide his embarrassment. A poor attempt because Castiel can clearly see the blush on the other boy's cheeks and the tips of his ears. "If you want it to be, yeah."

He smiles, "I'd like that very much, Dean."

Dean smiles back and says "awesome" under his breath while looking down at the straw rapper he was fiddling with on the table.

They begin to converse and swap random stories from their childhood. Dean tells a few funny stories about Sam but makes him swear nver to tell Sam he told him because he would get mad and 'the kid can hold a grudge. As promised their food comes out in a jiffy.

Castiel takes a bite a burger and fails to supress a moan. Dean's eyes open comically wide and Castiel doesn't spare a moment to wonder why because he's already taking a second bite. "Dean, they didn't win the honor of being deemed the best burger in the state for nothing."

Dean composes himself and huffs a laugh, "Yeah, okay, Cas."

They eat their burgers over more meaningless small talk, and when he's about halfway through his meal Castiel feels a slight chill overtake the room. He looks around for the source of the draft thinking maybe the owner turned on a fan somewhere and then he notices Jimmy standing by the counter. Dean's back is to him and Castiel excuses himself to the bathroom hoping Dean won't turn around and see Jimmy.

Castiel enters the bathroom and doesn't even have to turn around to know Jimmy followed him. "Why did you keep showing up like this when I'm supposed to be having fun with Dean."

"Because I live to rain on your parade, twin brother." Jimmy answers cheekily.

"Well cut it out, Assbutt."

"Assbutt? Are you so cut off from society you don't know normal insults?"

Castiel ignores the question. "Why do I keep losing long stretches of memory? The last time I wasn't even passed out I just remember being in one room and then suddenly I'm walking down the hallway with Dean and it's almost two hours later." Castiel can start to feel himself properly panicking now because he had got the chance to before.

"I'm scared, Jimmy," he continues, "Are you doing something to me?"

"Another baseless accusation as usual, Castiel."

"Don't lie to me! I always black right after I talk to you and my body feels weird, like it doesn't really belong to me and it takes me a while to get used it again. Are you drugging me with memory loss drugs somehow?"

"Honestly, Castiel? You think I roofied you?" Jimmy rolls his eyes, "Seems that something like that is more Winchester's department than mine."

"I told you to stop speaking ill of him."

"Or what? You're going to roofie me?" That garners no reaction out of Castiel and Jimmy lets out a long-suffering sigh, "Castiel, what is this infatuation with that guy? He seems like nothing special. I tried to carry on a conversation with him but it seems all he's capable of is lame jokes and shallow observations."

"You spoke with him?" Castiel is surprised Jimmy finally met him and Dean hadn't mentioned it at all.

"I know what you're thinking, Castiel. 'Why didn't Dean tell me he met my brother?'" Jimmy says in a falsetto voice. "I don't think the dumb fucker realized he was talking to me and not you."

"Do not call him dumb!" As an afterthough Castiel adds "Or a 'fucker' for that matter."

"Come on, Castiel I see you cozying him up with him out there. I literally overheard him say it was a date. You can't even deny it now."

"So what if it's a date?" Castiel is beyond tired of having this argument. "I like him okay? I admit it."

JImmy's expression turns stormy and Castiel almost flinches from the sheer fury of his expression. He forces himself to stand his ground. "No, it's not okay. He is crass and loud and obnoxious and his whole family are leeches feeding off of mother's kindness."

"What are you going on about?"

"And he has no feelings for you, Castiel."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Face the facts brother! Winchester is obviously conventionally attractive and charming, and I would wager he's popular with the ladies if that little interaction out there with the waitress is anything to go by."

Dean has been all flirty smiles and boyish charm with Gina. But he's not about to agree with him. "Just shut up, Jimmy."

Jimmy sneers "I'm not done. Obviously Dean could get any girl or guy he wanted, so what do you think he wants with you? I love you, Castiel, but you're socially awkward as fuck. Most of your hobbies are boring or just plain weird.""

His brother is striking a nerve and he knows it. "What is your point?!" Castiel all but shouts.

"I can see no reason why he'd have any interest in you as a person. Your looks however, not to be narcissistic but you and I are a couple of not unattractive dudes. I don't know if you noticed but that waitress was eyeing you up as well." Castiel says nothing and Jimmy continues "He's only interested in you physically, Castiel. Once he gets your virginity in his back pocket he'll be done with you and he'll be going after the next innocent wide-eyed virgin that crosses his path."

Castiel can feel his eyes begin to prickle and he looks down to his feet. "Please just stop," he says quietly.

Jimmy's expression softens, "I know it may not seem like it but I'm trying to help you."

"I don't want your help. I don't need it. Dean's a good person, he wouldn't use me like that."

"I guess you leave me no choice. I'll just have to prove to you then that Dean Winchester is no good."

A familiar chill rushes through Castiel and then the world goes dark.

.....

Castiel's been in the bathroom for a while now and Dean's getting a little worried. Maybe he freaked him out with the date thing? He hadn't meant to let it slip out like that, but it had anyway. He didn't realize until after he said how much he wanted it to be date. And then Castiel said he wanted that too and all Dean could do was smile and blush like a friggin' moron.

Now he's wondering if he had come on too strong and Castiel's in the bathroom right now trying to figure out how to let him down easy.

Castiel comes back to the booth and sits down and Dean starts to feel a little less anxious. Or he was until he realizes Castiel looks all tensed up again.

"Are you all right? You were in there for a little while."

"No, Dean, I'm not all right." Cas says in a flat voice, scary flat. This does not bode well for Dean.

He hesitates and then asks, "Is there a problem?" He's not sure he wants to hear the answer and he takes a sip of Coke to hide his nervousness.

"Yes. Why are we sitting here making small talk when we could at home while you fuck me senseless."

Dean chokes on his soda and coughs for a good two minutes. Gina looks up from her spot behind the counter alarmed and Dean gives her the thumbs up that he all right all while still coughing up the soda that went down the wrong pipe. He finally finishes and has to take a breather.

"Are you quite done yet?" Cas asks in a bored tone.

"What did you just say?"

"You mean what did I say five minutes ago? I want you to take me home and I want you to fuck me."

Dean can only sit there and blink because what the fuck? Half an hour ago Cas had been blushing like a virgin bride after some tame kissing and now he wants to get down and dirty just like that?

"Are you feeling all right, Cas?"

Cas huffs in frustration and rolls his eyes, "No, I feel sexually frustrated and that if you take me home soon and put your dick in me then I'm going to need to finish the job myself."

Dean feels all of his blood begin to rush south, and he flushes hot and yeah he doesn't need to be told twice. He signals to Gina to bring the bill and then they're out of there.

.....

The second they're in the house and shut in Dean's room Jimmy rounds on Dean and begins to kiss him. He licks his way into his mouth and Dean responds enthusiastically and Jimmy can see what Castiel finds attractive about this Winchester now. The guy knows how to kiss pretty damn well.

He pushes Dean up against door and lets him hands roam along his body. He hands skim to Dean's crotch. He needs to move this along before Castiel's unconscious mind takes back control of his body. He grips Dean through his pants and then Dean breaks the kiss.

"Woah, woah, Cas. Slow down a second. It's not that I'm not thrilled about this sudden turn of events or anything but you're scaring me a little here. What's with the sudden urgency?"

Jimmy growls in frustration. No, this was not how this was supposed to go. Dean was supposed to just take Castiel's body because he's selfish and just takes what he wants with no concern for others.Why is he making this so difficult? "What can I say, Dean? You're really hot and the second you waltz through that door I wanted to jump your bones. So just be man and do it already."

Dean eyes look as if they're searching his face and Jimmy has no patience for it. He kisses Dean again and let his hands wander south again. He grinds his hips down and Dean groans.

.....

This is not all what Dean had expected of Castiel. Not that he's disappointed at all. He should be friggin' thrilled that Castiel is currently kissing the living daylights out of him all the while moaning like a porn star and grinding his hips down like nobody's fucking business. He should be fucking ecstatic that Castiel said he wanted Dean to screw him senseless. He should be, but... something feels very wrong right now.

Dean breaks the kiss again, "Wait, Cas, just hold up a minute okay," he's panting trying to keep a hold of himself, "You're freaking me out right now, please just hold up. My head is spinning. This morning you never kissed a single soul and now here you are a few hours later grinding all over me."

"What are you calling me a liar?' Cas asks defensively.

"No, of course not. I just thing we should slow things down a bit okay? Do it right." If it were anyone else Dean would already be fucking them into the mattress right now but this is Cas, and he's just different. "Christ, I can't believe I of all people is saying this but I think we should get to know each other better before we... you know."

"Fuck." Cas groans and takes a step back, "You weren't supposed to be so fucking considerate." He grimaces and starts rubbing his forehead.

"What are you talking about?"

Cas turns blue eyes full of anger on him "You're supposed to be a player. You were supposed to use me like I mean nothing. "

Wait, what the fuck? "What the hell are you talking about, Cas?"

Cas growls, "You were supposed to just fuck me like I'm some meaningless slut and then move onto the next guy or girl or whatever."

Dean feels his face harden, "That's actually the kind of person you think I am then, huh? A playboy dick?"

"That's who you were supposed to be! The second you waltzed through that door Castiel was gone on you and it's because of your good looks and charms that I lost my brother! I couldn't let you take him from me so I had to prove you were a dick because he wouldn't listen to me! But noooooo! It was all 'Dean's a good person, you shouldn't speak ill of him.' So I had to take his body and fuck you so he could see how fast you would drop him afterwords!'

"...Jimmy?"

"Ah-fuck!" Castiel or Jimmy or whoever it is stumbles over and groans in pain. Dean catches him before he hits the floor.

Castiel or Jimmy or whoever the hell it is starts seizing in Dean's arms and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He curses himself for not paying more attention in health class. Then again, he's pretty sure they never covered what to do if someone starts ranting like a madman and then collapses and goes into a seizing fit.

Before Dean can properly begin to panic the boy goes still. For one terrible moment Dean thinks he's dead and then he cracks open a pretty blue eye. "Dean?" he croaks.

Oh, thank Jesus. "Who are you? Castiel or Jimmy?"

"I'm Castiel," he says confused. He sits up and groans and before Dean can tell him to take it easy he asks,"Why do you have to ask?"

"Do you not remember what happened? You started ranting like crazy referring to yourself in the third person and then you collapsed."

Blue eyes widen in panic, "No, I don't remember that."

"Cas, what's the last thing you remember?"

"We were at the diner and then I excused myself to go to the bathroom."

Fuck, that was almost half an hour ago. "You don't remember any of the strange stuff you said when you got back from the bathroom?"

"Dean, I don't remember coming back from the bathroom at all." The panic has spread to his voice and now the other boy begins to hyperventilate. "I've been blacking out and losing my memory all day. And then you say I say and do all these things I don't remember. I can't remember most of the time we were at the museum. I can't even remember going to bed last night or waking up this morning." He grabs his head and starts running his hands through his unruly hair.

"Cas, you gotta calm down," He soothes and rubs a hand across his back, "You're working yourself up too much."

"I can't help it, Dean! I'm freaking about!" Castiel stands before he can stop him and he begins to pace. "I can't fucking remember and I'm scared, Dean." Cas rubs at his bare arms as if he's cold. Cas always seems like he's too cold.

"Cas," he says in a soft voice and he stands up too, "We'll figure this out, I promise. Just please breathe for a second."

Cas looks at him with wild eyes as if to say 'why aren't you freaking out more about this' but obliges him anyway. He stops pacing and takes a shaky breathe. "I'm calm."

What Cas doesn't know is that Dean is freaking out on the inside. How much of today did he forget? Does he even remember kissing Dean? But he can't ask him that right now because he's already on the verge of a panic attack. Dean guides him to sit on the bed. "Okay, has this sort of thing happened before? Are you prone to short-term memory loss or something?"

"No, this has never happened before. I have an excellent memory." Castiel chews his lip for a moment, "I vaguely remember that before each blacking-out incident I always run into Jimmy and argue with him before it happens. I suspect he may be doing... something to me that alters my memory."

"What like drugs?"

"I don't know. I can't remember." Cas looks down at his hands in his lap and Dean notices some more black paint on his neck.

"Dude, how do you still have paint on you?"

Castiel laughs mirthlessly, "That's another thing, Dean. I don't paint. I never have. I have no idea why I told you that I did. "

Okay so either Cas is a really good actor with a twisted sense of humor which Dean seriously doubts or he has some sort of affliction which causes him to pathologically lie and then forget about it. Or Jimmy is really fucking with Castiel's head somehow. And if that's the case then Dean's going to have some very strong words with him. He doesn't give a damn if he's Cas' twin.

"Don't worry, Cas. We'll get to the bottom of what's going on."

......

Dean told Cas to try and gets a couple hours of rest and he left him in his room to take a nap. Sam and Cas' mother come back soon after that. He was researching causes of blacking out a losing memory but he hasn't found any answers unless Castiel is a heavy drinker which he doesn't think is very likely.

Sam comes bounding into the library and Dean shuts the laptop. "Dean, I met so many people at the homeschool meet-up thingy! I thought everyone there would be weird, and yeah some of them were a little but a lot of them were really nice. There was this one girl there named Jess who was really cool and funny and she introduced me to all her friends."

"Aww, Sammy. It sounds like you have a crush."

A furious blush creeps on his face, "Shut up, jerk."

"Why don't you come over here and make me bitch."

Sam rolls his eyes and doesn't rise to the bait.

Dean chuckles, "Sounds like you had a lot fun. Did you thank Ms. Novak?"

"Yeah, I did 'cause I'm not a heathen like you."

"Shut up, Sammy. I'm a perfect gentleman."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you've been nothing but gentlemanly towards Cas."

Now it's Dean's turn to blush as he fidgets uncomfortably on the couch. "What do you mean?"

"That hickey is glaringly obvious," he points to Dean's neck. "And I know you haven't left the house or had any girls over recently."

"Just shut your trap already" Dean grumbles embarrassed.

"Wait for real?!" Sam laughs maniacally, "That was just a shot in the dark."

"Screw off and go read your lame books or something

"Excuse me for taking me education seriously, Dean."

"Whatever, go have fun with your books, nerd."

Sam leaves the room still laughing uncontrollably and Dean takes the chance to go find Ms. Novak. She's puttering around in the kitchen and Dean takes the care to button up his plaid shirt and pull up the collar to cover the hickey before going in to talk to her.

"Hey, Mrs. Novak. I just wanted to say thanks for taking Sam to that home-school kids thing. It seemed like he had a lot of fun."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all, Dean," she smiles warmly, "I loved spending the day with him and I'm happy to take him out any time. And I thought I said you can call me Susan."

"Sorry, I forgot," he smiled sheepishly. "I actually came in here to ask you about something else. It may seem a little strange."

"Okay. You know you can ask me anything right?"

Dean takes in a deep breath, "It's about Jimmy."

Susan goes tense all over and her smile becomes tight, "What about him?"

Uh, oh. Maybe this was a bad idea. But he has to know what's up with Cas' twin. "It's just... do he and Cas get along well? Because Cas has been telling me they have been getting into a lot of fights recently and they seem to be affecting him a lot. I'm kind of worried about him."

Susan pulls a worried face "He said that?"

"Yeah, they've been having fights a lot since we got here," Dean admits guiltily. He knows it's not entirely his fault they're fighting so much. He can't help the fact that he's living here but he still feels bad.

"He said that he's been getting into arguments with Jimmy a lot? Present tense?"

Dean hesitates not sure what he's getting at, "...Yes." Susans wrings the dish towel she was holding in her hands and worries at her bottom lip. "Is something wrong?" Dean asks.

"Jimmy's been dead for almost ten years."

Oh that's... what?

Susan continues, "We were all at Lake Alberta one day and I wasn't paying close enough attention. Castiel and Jimmy were playing with tadpoles in the shallows, and I had turned my back for only a moment." Tears fill her eyes and she becomes choked up, "Apparently that's all the time it took for Jimmy to swim into deep water and drown."

Dean's having a hard time processing what he's hearing. Jimmy is dead? How is that possible? Has Cas been lying to him this whole time? No, not possible. Cas would never, and even if he would nobody is that good of an actor.

"I'm so sorry for asking." Dean apologizes.

"No, no it's not your fault, " the woman wipes at her eyes, "You couldn't have known."

"I just don't really understand. Why has Cas been saying he's arguing with Jimmy?"

She shakes her head, "He always had trouble accepting Jimmy's death when it first home. For a few months after the fact he would saying things like Jimmy wasn't sharing his toys or that he wanted to invite him out with us. I was such a mess that every time I heard him mention his name all I could do was lock myself in my room and cry. I know I should've taken him to a child therapist or something by I was so grief-stricken I could barely leave the house. He eventually stopped mentioning his name so I just assumed he accepted his death. It appears I was wrong."

"You're saying for the past ten years he's been believing Jimmy is alive when he's been dead the whole time?"

Susan sobs, "It's all my fault. I should've taken him to visit his brother's grave at Knob Hill Cemetery but I felt I would completely break down if I saw his final resting place."

"But didn't you have a funeral or something?" Dean feels bad asking all these questions, dredging up horrible memories, but he has to understand why Cas thinks Jimmy is alive.

"My family held a small memorial for him but the day of Castiel got very sick and I had to stay home to take care of him. I was actually relieved that I didn't have to take Castiel to something so terrible as the memorial of his twin brother." She shakes her head at herself, "But that was foolish of me. I should've listened to my parents and rescheduled it so he could mourn his brother properly. Then maybe he wouldn't be so confused now."

Susan breaks into fresh tears, "I'm sorry, I need to go lay down." And then she makes herself a strong drink and leaves the kitchen without another word.

......

Castiel wakes up groggily from his bed feeling worse than he did when he fell asleep. He rubs blearily at his eyes and pushes himself into a sitting position. He hears a soft knock on his door. "Come in."

Dean pokes his head in, "Hey, did I wake you?"

"No, I was just waking up. Did you need something?"

Dean hesitates before stepping inside. He clears his throat awkwardly, "Actually there's something I want to talk to you about."

Castiel pushes himself up on his headboard, "Okay, shoot."

"Uh...You see I was talking to your mom and..." Dean hesitates and scratches at the back of his neck, a nervous tick. "She said some weird stuff."

"What did she say?"

"She said Jimmy is dead and that he has been for ten years," he winces at his own words.

"...What?" Castiel thinks his voice sounds hollow to his own ears but he can't tell for sure because all he can hear is white noise.

Dean fiddles with his hands and then sits on the foot of the bed, "She said that one day you guys all went to the lake and he drowned."

Castiel remembers the day at the lake. He remembers Jimmy swimming out to far and struggling to swim but he can't remember what happened after that. "That's not possible. He can't be dead. I see him almost everyday."

"Your mom said you missed the funeral because you got really sick," Dean says softly, and if Castiel didn't feel so numb right now he would be angry about being treated like a skittish animal. "She thinks you were never able to let Jimmy go because you were never able to mourn him properly.

Castiel hardens his face, "So that's it then. You think I'm crazy. A total nut job am I right?"

Dean shakes his head furiously, "No, Cas, I don't think that at all."

"Then what do you believe? You think Jimmy is really dead?"

"I don't think anyone would lie about their son being dead."

"So you don't believe me then. You think I've been imagining my dead twin brother for ten years. In other words, you think I'm crazy."

Dean growls, "Cas, you're not listening to me."

"I need you to leave, Dean." Hurt flashes across Dean's face and Castiel amends his words, "I need a little time alone to process this. We can talk more later."

Dean looks reluctant to leave but nods and leaves anyway.

Castiel scrubs a hand down his face and then threads his hands in his hair.

Dead? Jimmy is dead? I see and talk to him every single day. Am I crazy?

Castiel tries to think logically about this. He tries to force memories from the day from the lake back to the surface but his mind feels as murky as the lake had been that day. Could Dean be messing with him? No, Castiel scolds himself for even thinking it. Dean would never do that.

He tries to grasp onto his loose half memories. They were at the lake. They were playing with tadpoles. Castiel turned his back and Jimmy swam out too far. And then he... oh god he drowned. Castiel remembers now. He remembers all the flashing lights and the sirens of the ambulance. He remembers the parmedics trying to resuscitate Jimmy and failing. His lips were pale blue and his eyes had gone glassy. His mother was screaming and crying.

And it's all his fault. He shouldn't of turned his back to his twin.

Castiel's head hurts and logically he knows he should be crying but he can't. He feels too numb. Jimmy died that day because of him. And for some reason he never left.

Perhaps Castiel will take a cue from his mother and do what she does in time of great emotional struggle: drink. He's certain he saw a few of her bottles of whiskey in the cabinet the other day.

.....

Dean paces the floor restlessly in his own room. He doesn't know what to do. Cas thinks Dean thinks he's a stark raving lunatic which couldn't be further from the truth. The truth is Dean doesn't know what to think.

He's not a very religious person and never really toyed with the notion of the afterlife. He always believed you lived out your life and then that's it. No bright light. No Heaven or Hell. Just nothing. But now he may have to rethink his beliefs. Before Cas kicked him out, he was about to ask if he thought ghosts could possibly be real. Perhaps it's a good thing he didn't get the chance to ask him that though. The poor guy is freaked out enough as it is.

Dean thinks about calling his Dad and seeing what he thinks. But he's working right now, and he doesn't like to be bothered unless Dean or Sam are in trouble. He hardly thinks John will be happy about his work being interrupted by philosophical questions. So he calls Bobby instead.

It rings three times before he hears a gruff "Hello?" on the other end.

"Bobby, it's Dean."

"Dean! How are ya, boy? Your old man been treating you right? "

"I'm good, Bobby. And yeah, he's fine."

"I take it this ain't a social call."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well I know you just love the sound of my voice and all but you sound kinda anxious. Something eating at you?"

Dean takes a shaky breath, "Yeah, actually. Bobby I know this is going to sound crazy. I think it sounds crazy, and I can't even really wrap my head around it, but I don't think there could be any other logical explanation and..."

"Quit yer ramblin' and just spit it out already."

"Do you believe in ghosts, Bobby?"

The line goes quiet for a moment. "Why do you ask?"

"You know how dad took us to live in a boarding house, right? Well there's a kid here my age, Cas, and he says he has a twin brother he fights with almost everyday. And Cas keeps mentioning him but I never met him but I didn't think much about it because it's a big house and all and maybe the guy is just a loner. But then later I asked Cas' mom about Jimmy and she started crying and said Jimmy is dead, but I don't think Cas is lying. And Cas goes through these weird... I don't know what to call them- episodes I guess, where he acts all tensed up and more cynical and pushy I guess which doesn't make any sense because the normal Cas is a sweetheart, I swear. And then all of a sudden he'll like double over in pain and then he's back to normal, but he's missing huge chunks of memory. Like he was in the kitchen and I noticed black paint dripping down his neck and he said-"

"Black paint, you say?"

"Uh," that trips Dean up. Of all the crazy stuff he's said that's the part of the story he questions? "I mean I think it was paint. It looked a little too bit too viscous and shiny and to be paint but I wouldn't really know."

"Have you been feeling cold spots around the house?" Dean thinks he knows where Bobby is going with this but he doesn't want to get his hopes up that someone actually believes him.

"All the time. But its a big house so I expect it to be a bit drafty. But Cas seems to get really cold with full on goose bumps at random times I've noticed."

Bobby sighs on the other end of the line, "Oh boy. Well to answer your earlier question, yes, I do believe in ghosts. And it sounds like you have a malevolent spirit on your hands."

.....

Dean hangs up the phone with Bobby, his mind reeling. He wishes he had a moment to process everything Bobby just said, about how ghosts and other monsters are real and that his Dad is actually a hunter and law enforcement is only his cover. But he can't think about that right now because Cas is in trouble and Bobby just told me what he needs to do to help him.

Dean bounds up the stairs two at a time to get to Cas' room. He knocks softly, wondering if Cas is still upset. "Cas? Can I come in?"

"Yes."

Dean enters the room and sees Cas sitting in his armchair looking out the window.

"Cas, I know this is going to sound crazy but after everything that's happened hopefully not that crazy." Cas just squints at him in confusion and Dean takes that as a sign to continue. "Ghosts are real. My dad hunts them. I just got off the phone with my Uncle Bobby and he told me how to get rid of them."

"Okay."

"Okay? You believe me just like that?" Of course, Dean's happy but he was expecting more of a fight.

"You haven't given me a reason to distrust you before. I have faith in you, Dean."

Dean feels his cheeks heat up. How could someone just so easily place their faith in someone, especially a screw-up like him? He turns around to start searching the items above Cas' dresser, "Bobby said to get rid of the spirit we have to salt and burn the bones. But we also have to make sure there's no other DNA that he can latch onto after we burn the body. Do you know if your mom saved a lock of Jimmy's hair or something?"

"You're pretty," Cas giggles from behind him. Fucking giggles.

Dean turns around incredulous, "What?"

"You have so many freckles and your eyes are so green. Like a leprachaun," he laughs again.

"Um," Dean says dumbly, "Thanks?"

"You're so tall, too. Like a tree. Maybe that's why I wanna climb you." He breaks into another fit of giggles. Dean doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. He's only a couple inches taller than the other boy.

"Are you drunk?"

"It's possible."

"What does that mean?"

"I may have found my mother's liquor cabinet."

"And?"

"I drank it." Castiel deadpans.

"Christ, Cas" Dean rubs at his forehead, "We don't have time for this. You could be in serious danger."

Cas shrugs, "It is what it is."

"The fuck do you mean 'it is what it is'. How can you be so cavalier about this?' Dean's angry. How could Cas be so flippant about his own life?

Castiel's drunken smile is gone and now his face looks gravely serious, "I killed Jimmy. So whatever he does to me now is justified."

"You're not making any sense. You didn't kill him; he drowned. It was an accident."

"Maybe but it happened because I turned my back to him. I'm his brother. It's my job to protect him. You of all people should understand that."

Yeah, he really really does. "Cas," he says softly, "you were only six years old."

"Yeah, but so was he. He deserved more years than he got," he says bitterly. His eyes are glassy, partly due to the alcohol, partly due to brimming tears. Dean's heart breaks a little.

"Cas, please. If we don't put Jimmy's soul to rest he could become even more malevolent. He could go after you, your mom, me, Sammy. We have stop him, please."

Cas's eyes went soft and then his face steeled with determination, "Okay."

.....

Dean told Castiel that in order to send Jimmy's soul on to the next world they need to salt and burn his remains. It seems a bit gruesome to Castiel but he finds in easier on his stomach if he thinks of it as simply a cremation.

Doesn't make digging up his corpse any easier.

They are traipsing through the cemetery cautiously. They waited until a couple hours before sunrise when it was darkest out to reduce their likelihood of being caught and to allow Cas to sober up. He's not sure what the punishment for desecrating a grave site is but he can't imagine it's anything lenient.

"Dean, I have a question."

"Shoot."

Castiel assumes that mean he can ask. "Since Jimmy's a ghost, how come he's aging the same as me? Shouldn't he be perpetually six years old?"

"I don't know. Maybe ghosts can alter how humans perceive them? He's your twin so all he really has to do is make himself look like you. I only found out ghosts existed today though so your guess is as good as mine."

"Makes sense I suppose."

Dean clears his throat awkwardly, "As long as we're asking questions, I have one for you."

"To quote you, 'shoot'"

"Do you remember kissing me? I mean, was it actually you or..."

"I remember kissing you, Dean." Castiel interrupts him, "I remember it very vividly. I enjoyed kissing you very much." He flushes at his own statement and is grateful for the oppressing darkness shrouding them and hiding the evidence of his embarrassment. Then Dean's hand deliberately brushes his own until he gently threads their hands together. Now he's immensely grateful for the darkness.

They find James Novak's grave and Castiel can only stare. He already knew his brother was no longer alive, but now he is seeing physical irrefutable that he is dead and the just makes it all the more real.

Dean gives him a few minutes and then gently nudges his shoulder. Castiel nods and picks up his shovel. And then they begin to dig.

.....

They dig in reverent silence for God knows how long before they hit something. They're about to open the casket when Cas is thrown out of the grave by an invisible force. He hits another grave stone and crumples to the ground with a pained groan.

"Cas!" Dean shouts. He's not sure if he's unconscious or not but he knows for sure he's going to have a couple bruised and possible cracked ribs. He pulls himself out of the opne grave and rushes over to Cas' crumples form but right before he reaches he's thrown out of the way like he weighs nothing more than a rag doll. He lands in a heap of dirt, only narrowly misses cracking his skull on a grave stone.

He coughs dirt out his mouth and rasps, "Cas! Are you all right?"

Cas pushes himself up off the ground and takes a moment to reorient himself. As soon as he appears steady on his feet he rushes to Dean. "Dean! I think Jimmy's here!" His eyes are wild with fear.

"Cas, did he hurt you?" Dean pushes himself to his feet and examines Cas for any injuries.

Castiel brushes his hands off. "I'm fine. We need to hurry before he tries to-"

"Before I what, brother? Badly bruise your boy toy?" Jimmy materializes behind Castiel. "That pales in comparison to having your grave desecrated and your body burned."

It's so bizarre, Dean thinks to finally see both twins at the same time. Jimmy is almost an exact carbon copy of Castiel except he conducts himself differently. His twist his face into ugly, cruel expressions. Dean decides he never wants to see that expression on Castiel's face. And his eyes are just as blue as Cas' but they're colder somehow. They don't possess the same ethereal glow Cas' do.

Castiel whirls around. "Jimmy," he says cautiously, "We're trying to help you. I want you to be able to move on, Jimmy. I know you're miserable being trapped here."

"You know nothing, Castiel!" Jimmy snarls. "You don't even know why I'm upset."

"I don't understand. Aren't you upset about being deceased?"

"No, I don't care that I'm dead. I'm mad because you're not dead with me! We promised to do everything together! We played together, dressed similar, spent all day together, it's only right that we should've died together."

Castiel turns pale, "Jimmy, I'm so sorry. I was a bad brother. I should've payed closer attention. I shouldn't have let you drowned."

"It's okay, Castiel" Jimmy voice softens and a soft smile replaces his twisted snarl. "You can fix your mistake. All you have to do is join me," Jimmy reaches out his hand towards his twin.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Dean growls.

"Oooh the guard dog finally speaks," Jimmy laughs sardonically. "I'm so scared."

"If you lay a figure on even one hair on his head I'll kill you."

"How are you going to kill a ghost hotshot?"

"I'll figure it out! You're dreaming if you think Cas is going to join your legion of the undead or whatever it is."

"Stop being so selfish, Dean. He was my brother first. And you've only known him for what- 3, 4 weeks now?"

"Long enough to know he ain't about to off himself to play Casper the not-so-friendly ghost with you!"

"That's enough!" Castiel's voice cuts through their bickering. He turns to his brother. "Jimmy, you know I love you, and I'd do anything to have you alive and well beside me, but I can't, I won't die just to satisfy your wishes."

Jimmy's face falls and he looks genuinely hurt. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I really truly am. Because if you won't kill yourself, I'll have to kill you myself."

He rushes towards Cas and Dean is screaming to 'stay the hell away from him!' but it's too late. Castiel's body tenses up as Jimmy takes possession of it. Jimmy wipes away the black goo which Dean now knows is called ectoplasm away from his eye.

"You bastard! Give him back!"

Jimmy throws him aside with a flick of his wrist as if he were nothing more than a bug that's pestering him. "I would say sorry about stealing your boyfriend from you, Dean but I'm really not. Don't worry. I'm sure Cas will come visit you wants he gets a hang of materializing on the physical plane and all that."

Dean gets up and throws a punch at Jimmy which does nothing but make the other boy blink. Jimmy smirks and pulls back his own fist.Then Dean gets his lights punched out and the world goes dark.

.....

Dean blinks open his eyes and sees the sunrise cresting over the hill. "Oh fucking shit!" he curses out loud. He scrambles to his feets and tries to ignore the head ache and white spots clouding his vision. The sun is rising which means Dean's been dead to the world for at least two hours. How far could Jimmy have gotten in that time? Could Cas already be.......? No, Dean refuses to think like that.

He'll burn the bones, and then Jimmy will be gone and Cas will be free. It would've been the perfect plan. If the bones weren't freaking missing. One of the backpacks they used to lug the supplies over here is missing,too. Fuck.

He doesn't waste a second, and books it for the parking lot. Dean almost cries with relief when he sees that the Impala is still in the parking lot. He wonders why Jimmy didn't swipe his keys and steal the car but then he realizes if he died when he was six that means he probably doesn't know how to drive. Which means he's on foot. But even so he has a couple hour head start wherever he went.

Would he have walked back to the house? No, he sees no sense in him doing that if he plans to off Cas. Unless, he plans to just stab him or something. Dean gets the horrible image of Castiel bleeding out on the floor while Dean was taking a nap in the dirt. No, Jimmy doesn't seem like the type to just get it over with like that. He seemed to have a flair for dramatics.

Dean knows exactly where he's taking Cas. He peels out of the parking lot in the Impala and guns it for Lake Alberta. He just prays to God he's not too late.

.....

He broke every speed limit and made it to Lake Alberta in just over 15 minutes when it should've taken a half hour. He's launching himself out of the car as soon as he put the Impala in park and is running towards the lake.

It's so muddy he nearly trips three times but he doesn't slow down until he makes it to the bank of the river. He frantically scans the area and sees no sign of Cas. Then he looks up and sees Jimmy standing on the edge of a bluff overlooking the river.

Dean runs faster than he ever has in life. His chest burns and his lungs are being licked by fire but he doesn't let up until he's climbed to the top of the bluff and is panting heavily in front of Jimmy. He notices the boy has the backpack full of his bones on his back. Fat lot of good that does Dean when he's practically dangling Cas off a cliff.

"Jimmy, please." Dean struggles for breath. "Don't do this."

"Don't worry, Dean. Jumping from this high won't kill him. Kids do it all the time." Jimmy grins as if he's hearing his own private joke, "The water, however, will kill him because Castiel can't swim."

"Jimmy, I swear to God, if you don't get the hell out of Cas right now, I'll fucking torch you."

Jimmy tips Cas' head to the side and taps his chin as if he's weighing his options. "You drive a hard bargain, Dean-o. Very well then, as you wish." Jimmy's spirit steps out of Cas and disappears. Cas groans in pain and he grabs his head. Before Dean can yell at him to watch out his body sways backwards and falls into the black water.

"Cas!" Dean forgets that he's afraid of heights and hurtles himself off the cliff after Cas. He's in the air only long enough to feel his stomach flip and then he's feels tiny pinpricks of cold water slicing through him.

He resurfaces and takes in gulps of air and searches frantically for Castiel. The other boy hasn't surfaced and Dean dives back under. It's damn near impossible to see in the ridiculously dark water.

A minute passes and Dean's afraid he's already too late when he sees a flash of tan from that ridiculous trench coat Cas insisted on wearing before they snuck out to the cemetery. Now, Dean could kiss that trench coat stupid. Dean grabs Castiel and swims back to shore.

Dean pulls them both onto the sand and Dean immediately notices Castiel isn't breathing. He strips him of the back pack and lays him flat. He starts pumping Castiel's chest and thanks god that CPR was the one thing he actually paid attention to in health class.

Nothing happens so Dean pinches Cas' nose, tilts his head back, and gives him mouth to mouth. A litany of Oh God, please don't let him die, please let him be okay, I need him to be all right, I need him, please save him runs on a loop in Dean's head.

Too much time seems to pass and Cas still isn't breathing and Dean desperately keeps giving him mouth to mouth because he just needs Castiel to be alive. He would sell his soul to see him breath.

And then Castiel sucks in a raspy breath and Dean cries in relief. Then Cas coughs out what seems to be a gallon of black lake water. He coughs and coughs and Dean just rubs his back in soothing circles until Cas'breath evens and he chokes out, "What the hell happened?"

"What happened is you suck at swimming."

Cas rolls his eyes and Dean could kiss him. He does kiss him because Cas nearly just died and he came close to never being able to kiss him again. Cas sighs against his mouth and Dean deepens the kiss. They kiss for a few more moments before Dean reluctantly pulls away."We're not done just yet" he says as he eyes the backpack.

He checks inside to make sure Jimmy's bones are in there and then he torches the whole thing, relieved that he had the presence of mind to bring the salt and lighter fluid from the cemetery.

Castiel watches the fire solemnly, flames reflecting in his eyes. "What happens now?" he asks.

"Now I give you some damn swimming lessons."

                                                                                                                          THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! Computer problems led to this story being more of a hassle than I expected. I am immensely grateful for any kudos/comments. For anyone interested this is my [tumblr](http://kissyoursanitygoodbye.tumblr.com/)


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